~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.” The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.” The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.” The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Dev Topics is a high-level and sometimes satirical look at software development and computer technology. ” The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eight bytes walk into a bar. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? DOUBLE CLICK: When the dang gun don’t far when you pull the trigger.
Dev Topics is written by Tim Toady, the founder of Browserling Inc, a cross-browser testing company. It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds. REBOOT: Whut you have to do at bedtime when you forgot the kitty’s still outside.
She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.” The first student responds, “Good choice!
Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CIA – Computer Industry Acronyms CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN: It Still Does Nothing SCSI: System Can’t See It MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed DOS: Defunct Operating System WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too Pn P: Plug and Pray APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity IBM: I Blame Microsoft MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse. “That was the demo,” the angel replies as she vanishes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack. His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. ” Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits. Now she demanded a massage, but this was rejected as “Feature Creep.” He smacked her back-end and shouted, “Who’s your parent node?! He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403.See full summary » What can be said about this brilliant work of art? but honestly, who doesn't want to see it get filled up nice and firmly? This 'film' really banks off the joy that one receives watching a woman who has done nothing for her money or fame just be on her knees and on her back for forty minutes and getting it unrelentingly. This is definitely better than Paris Hilton's sex tape, although that too is enjoyable. and like it was worth the time.10/10, would watch on my laptop at night in bed with my door closed again.When we occasionally dive into the details, it's usually about C# and . (More) All these jokes are now illustrated at my new Programming Comic. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Software Development Cycles , reason 0 being that he has limited cache. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.” At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors. ENTER: Northerner talk fer, “C’mon in, y’all.” CLICK: Whut you hear when you cock your gun.